


Avoidance

by Raynidreams



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 23:21:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4324743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raynidreams/pseuds/Raynidreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As an infiltrator, Wolfgang thinks he can hide and also be the monster. </p><p>Warnings for violence and the torture of a female character - sort of. </p><p>Author's notes: apologies if you read this a few days ago (at all?) but I got cold feet entering into a new fandom and deleted it. I'm being brave and putting it back. Not beta read, so please feel free to let me know if you spot anything, grammar-wise, that irks. Also, I may use this idea in future, so forgive me if I rehash the same notions. </p><p>A/N 2: Hugs to the kindness I received from buddies on my LJ about posting this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avoidance

 

Avoiding eye contact had always been his way of lying. It made his infiltration easier than he'd expected it might be. Especially with Nomi's help and the training he'd extrapolated from the swamp of Will's mind.

Easy or not, it was necessary. If they were to be free, Whispers had to die. Just like his uncle had to. It was a simple fact. And he’d thought he could handle it. The pressure. He’d even convinced most of the parts of himself that it was true. The process of hunting down people that were not them, he could do it. It  _was_  easy. He caught them, handed them over, and then they were released, not being what Whispers wanted after all. One of these days he'd even get close enough to kill the bastard without him seeing it coming. What was a few broken bones here and there in between? The nightmares he left in his wake were merely that. They were not visions in the light of day. They were not windows into another life, where he felt the rain on his face as the sun blistered skin.

Months passed and he went many places under orders, eyes down, kindling the monster without hesitation. That was until his orders were to fly to India. Mumbai. It couldn’t be her. He hadn’t appeared directly to her in months but the others had. No, it couldn’t be. Who would suspect a charming, married, pharmacist? One who couldn’t even say cock?

Shut off, he’d only become many with her at night when Rajan stroked her skin. He joined because he couldn't help it. It was the only joy he could offer her. She always reached deeper for him, but he always sat back, gave secondary touching through Lito or Nomi. The sex was good. But it was not all it could be. Sun clenched with him. Focused everything into his fists. Blood smeared red and water didn't wash it away. Whatever Kala felt, he hoped it wasn’t the fiery aftermath of a fist into a concrete wall as semen trailed down his thighs.

Mumbai?  _Gott!_  What the fuck was he doing here?

Control. Keep control. Love, was about control. Not like the five things his father taught him. It was self-control in being a part of eight. Seven if he could cut himself painlessly out of her and not the other way around. He was good with pain and she didn’t deserve to feel the gap that she left in him. He pursed his lips. Fuck!--he was only good at cutting himself--he'd felt her pain--he  _was_  a fucking pervert demon.

The world around him jolted when the helicopter landed. The heat and the smell of jasmine hit him immediately. It couldn’t be her. It couldn't. But no one could reach her. There was a dank taste in his mouth as the blades whorled, threatening to take off his head.

All eight of them were in the room when he finally entered. Her lashes fluttered and Wolfgang smiled with his mouth while his eyes died. Head screaming. Jonas would tell them they had only one choice. The six other parts of them countered that choice. He thought loudly: Don’t look. Don't see.  _Feel **.**_  Be in Mexico City, Nairobi, Chicago, Seoul, anywhere but this damp hot room! To his side, doctors began to mass. Whispers would come if she was one. Whispers around corners, stirring dust and fear. The fear pulled at him. He could feel Capheus wanting to burst in and drive them to safety.

His ears heard his next command but he couldn't make sense of it at first. It was Kala's face, flooding with panic, that translated the words.

'We need her awake but also so she can’t fight.' The doctors knew better than to use drugs now. 'No drugs this time. Too many mistakes. They mess with the brain.'

'Fuck you!' she shouted in response. At any other time, he would have laughed. It was with his mind that the sentence started, but she shaped the words with true conviction. She pulsated with such. He'd taken in her appearance as he'd entered, just as he did her mind. At this point, he couldn’t not let her in. It was impossible to keep her out. To keep her from feeling what he felt. How they all did. The tiny pyjamas she always wore were stained with sweat. A drop ran down their spine. He wondered if the room was taped and their joint reaction registered to any who watched.

'Get her to talk, if you think she's one, we'll take it Upstairs,' came the clear order in his earpiece.

Pain. Pain was a bridge between reality and fiction, he knew. Between what was real and what wasn't. One only knew what was worth fighting for when it was threatened.

'No drugs,' he repeated.

'No time either,' she commented with a hitched breath as they looked down upon her together.

So, pain it was. Yes, he was good at withstanding it.

“Tell me about yourself. Tell me...do you hear voices?” he asked. He reached out. Their first touch, for all their contact, the first time flesh had met flesh. He put two fingers under her chin and lifted her face to his. Eye contact. That very first connection between them, fusing them together for always. Was it gravity that made his insides feel as if they’d taken impact? Everything now was physical. Her skin was the skin of his hand. His was the heaviness of her breasts on his chest. Her laboured breathing.

 _Don’t let the tears fall_ , he thought.

She still stood beside him.

'Wolfgang… I...'

He couldn’t speak.

'I won’t risk you getting caught,' she continued.

 _I can’t. I can’t. I WON’T DO IT!_  he screamed internally, the words bouncing off the walls in his mind. She flinched. And then prayed, on her knees, gone from by the side of him. Her lips moved like she was singing. He smelled smoke and the stale scent of spilled beer.

She didn’t know how to use her fists, she'd told him that once. He dragged her into him. Switched places. He’d have to show her.

The blood of the covenant was thicker than the water of the womb, so it goes... But what happened when you were part of one womb? One breath? He didn't have her faith in gods that things worked for or against them as part of something greater. He needed to be the force that changed things. She believed it to be the same thing. Believed in him. _No! No!_ He felt Riley willing him on. Willing life into horrible action.

He saw Kala's fist come down upon his face.

Time, they just needed more time. However much it hurt. Pain worked both ways. And he realised he couldn't keep her from seeing, feeling, the monster. She was part of it because she was part of him.


End file.
